Black Friday

The first Black Friday in over a decade that I didn't have to work on. I really didn't know what to do with myself today.

It did get me thinking, of course. Another holiday season is upon us. A time for joyousness and good will. Unless, of course, you are me. I tend not to be any nicer or more charitable during the holidays. I think that mainly has to do with the fact that I am nice and charitble the rest of the year. I feel no need to "make up" for nice and charity that I may not have done in the other 11 months. I do it year round. All the holidays are for me is a reason to reflect and see how miserable my life is. Lewis Black once said about winter, "...and the next day it's even GREYER...and that's the day you look at your wrists and say 'Maybe I should slit them, to see color.'" My entire life is like a winter. Everything is cold and bleak. I have to pretend to not be that way though, people need positivity to keep functioning. They can't use me as a strength point if they think that I have all these personal demons to fight. Hopefully one day the fight will be over.